In a world of chaos, I am one more building block of uncensored uncertainty, a mess of emotions and craziness that is never in check, I am pursued and pushed by my demons always wanting, wishing, waiting to get away from them, crawling out of my skin, craving, always craving a new life, a new me, just something else that I’ll never find, search the entire universe for the one missing piece that won’t ever be found, I am caffeine addicted, addicted to the worst addictions, most definitely: myself, and also; cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, drugs, the paths towards which you never want to wish or fall into, but I’m here, it’s here that I’m at home, am I even alive? I don’t know which way is up. I am the epitome of alice. lost girl, searching in a mad world for a way out, some magical mathematician’s answer that could possibly save me, save me, save me from what? myself. I am my own worst enemy. the belly of the snake lies in wait, until the most opportune moment. I am life and death and ferociously veraciously battling for both, I want it all, I want it all, I w a n t it all. and is it ever going to be enough? I want it all. and there’s no one to tell me no.
I like things that don’t make sense, pocket watches and time, floating backwards; I love life, music, books, words, passion, letters and spaces in between, you and me, us, death, sound, visuals, windows, mirrors, self reflection, reinventions, coffee and apples, tea, water, hot cocoa, fashion, stories, histories, runways, models, glamour, sparkles, shiny, shallow vapid, pettiness, gossip, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, me, selfishness, being manipulative, getting what I want, meaning what I say, being direct, being me, a mess of contradictions, confusion, being lost, racecars, airplanes, traveling, packing up, leaving, getting away from me, getting to me, forever having everything and nothing, feeling it in my bones, love is blind but I want him to feel my bones, pink, colour, british accents, keep me close to you, whispers, wishes, neverending desires, madness, lost in the crazy, I hate life, me and all the habits that remind me of myself, food, my appetite (life and otherwise), cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, wasting time, forever having everything and nothing; not seeing anything worth living for anymore,
"I act on my addictions" "Come on, skinny love, just last the year.."